Dad's Gone

Oh, no... not 'that' way! Dad's on an extended cruise with his girlfriend! She has cruised.... a lot! In fact, she has racked up over 1500 days onboard cruise ships! Wow! That's a lot! Before she met Dad she had booked a grand tour. So, when she and Dad became an item he was able to book the cruise as well. So last week we saw them off on their grand adventure. Of course, things were a bit tense during packing. It seems that Dad and girlfriend had distinctly different ideas of what to pack. Dad would put something in the suitcase, she would take it out. Dad couldn't find the item and became anxious because he wanted to pack it. He forgot that he had packed it and she didn't divulge that she removed it and hid it! When we saw them the evening before they left, his girlfriend commented that this was similar to earlier cruises with her deceased husband where she questioned whether she wanted to be in the same stateroom with him... better yet, maybe they should be on different ships!

Despite Dad's trip I think he should join in the chat on the farmhouse porch. Maybe we can envision sitting on chaises on the lido deck for this chat! But, this week I'll have to answer for him - well, don't I always?

1. How often do you wear a skirt or dress?

OMG - this is an easy one! Dad has never worn a skirt or a dress. He isn't Scottish, so no kilt, either. Additionally, IF Dad were to wear a skirt or a dress, he'd be the laughing stock of his community - not because of his attire, but because of his skinny 'toothpick' legs! I recall only a few occasions where Dad wore shorts, and then, being an object of derision, he often changed into long pants! Of course, his loving daughter never, ever made comments about his chicken legs. That just wouldn't be proper!!!

As for me, wearing a skirt or a dress??? It's been so long I can't remember! Somehow I don't think dresses and my Ariat paddock boots look nice together. The dress just ruins the look!

2. Did you feel unmotivated after Christmas and New Years?
Dad was so busy getting ready for his cruise that I don't know if he was really that aware of the calendar. Also, he's the sort of guy that doesn't get that emotionally connected with holidays. For him, it's just another day. 
As for me... nope. Not this year. I cruised through the holidays and for once my emotional roller coaster had very few highs and lows and I am very focused on new things I want to get done. I didn't experience a slump that has happened in the past.


3. What was the last thing that made you say "Wow"?
Oh, wow! This is tough for me to figure out with Dad. Dad just lives each day as it comes. He has a very low EQ (Emotional Quotient) I'm not sure if that is a product of his upbringing, but he is pretty 'even keeled'. I'm hoping he's had some 'wow' moments on his cruise as he travels through the itinerary. If I had to guess, I'd say his last 'wow' was dinner at a great restaurant a few days before he left. We discovered a wonderful northern Italian restaurant that has a wonderful menu. I'm betting he said a few wow's about what he was eating! 
For me - easy peasy! It was tonight's sunset:

4. Do you shop with a list, or do you "wing it"?
This is easy.  Both Dad and I use lists. Lists have become Dad's survival tool. He writes notes about everything. I have a magnetic pad on my fridge, and shopping items go there. I also keep a note on my phone for things to buy or do. However, just because we have lists, it doesn't mean we don't buy tons more than what is on the list!


5. What questions would you like me to ask on our Chat? 
Dad would want to ask: What technology tool(s) do you find useful to you, and why?
My questions include: 
- What's for dinner?
- What's priority #1 in your life?

If you'd like to join the chat, visit Chats on the Farmhouse Porch

Then....The Doorbell Rang

Am I boring you, yet, with stories about communicating with Dad via screen sharing? It is a big part of our day. Invariably he'll call with a question about how to do something or a concern that something is missing on his computer, or he wants to show me something he found on his computer. So we begin the screen sharing ritual. I'll prompt Dad to open iChat. (We had it set so that it would open when he turned his computer on, but he didn't like the fact that the Buddies list cluttered up his screen.) Then I'll send a request to share his screen. That causes a window to pop up on his screen and a bell begins to ring intermittently. At that point Dad has to click on the window and then click on "Accept". His screen will show on my computer and we can hear each other through the computers so I tell Dad to hang up the phone. It is a nifty way for me to help Dad do things, find things, or see things on his computer. We could also do video chat if there wasn't a computer issue that needed to be resolved. All in all, it's a great way to communicate.

Yesterday when we were in the process of getting connected, the bell rang on Dad's computer. He excused himself to answer the door.

Source

In a movie, that would have been funny. Not so funny in real life.

Dad - The Ladies Man

Once again, I've decided to invite Dad to participate in the Chats on the Farmhouse Porch. I hope that's alright?!

He is really quite a jovial guy and he always 'wows' the ladies! In fact, if I look back through our photo albums I find a lot of pictures of Dad with other women! Usually Mom was there, too, so it wasn't anything bad... just a guy who loved charming the girls! Now, he isn't much on small talk - he might show his impatience, but I'll try to keep him 'entertained'!

Here's Dad with my mother in 1978. Don't you agree that he has a most charming smile?! He still smiles that way and his eyes twinkle!

1. What's your favorite kind of tree?
Dad wouldn't hesitate to say a concolor. Actually, it's latin name is Abies concolor, known as a white fir. When I was growing up he planted a concolor near our porch. It had a pretty bluish tinge to its needles, similar to a Colorado Blue Spruce. Dad fussed over that tree, fertilizing it, spraying it and mulching it. I guess that worked magic because I saw the tree a few years ago - it is now over 50' tall! My favorite? For me? I'm thinking a Japanese Maple. I'm not certain that we could grow one here, but I do love the delicate shape of the leaves and the pretty purple color.


2. How did you celebrate the New Year?
Ah, we are such party animals! Dad and his girl had leftovers at their apartment. My hubby and I watched TV and were in bed by 10:00. Well, it was new year's some place!


3. Do you have any family traditions for the New Year?
For a while we had a tradition for New Year's Eve. We used to have a party and invite our friends and their children. We'd make silly hats and set off fireworks. The kids got to play with sparklers. Usually we'd wake up the next morning with a few extra kids. We hated waking them up, just so they could go home!

New Year's Eve - 1994

When I was growing up we really didn't have any traditional activity for the first day of the New Year, except to go skiing. We skied whenever the ski areas were open within a 3-4 hour drive of where we lived.  Dad would stay up for the 11 O'clock news to get the ski reports, then wake us in time to get going and be at the ski area in time for the lifts to open.

4. I'm so glad I____________ in 2011.
OK, Dad, let my friends know your answer to this one! Dad... it's finding J, right? Well, shall we call her Saint J? Sometime around March Dad was introduced to a widow at his retirement community. She is 15 years younger than he is and she has many gifts that make her a wonderful companion for my Dad. She was a Special Ed teacher. She has a wonderful way of dealing with him when his memory issues or perseveration become apparent or frustrating... to him and to her! She explains that her relationship with my dad is like an Oreo Cookie; the good days and times are like the center, they are very good and special. And yes, sometimes those good times are surrounded by times that aren't that great, but, she's willing to put up with them for the good times. Oh how I wish he had met her years ago!
For me... hmmm, I think I'll have to say moving into our new home made me happy. I am so in love with the house and the location.

5. Did you have a nickname as a child?
My Dad will tell folks that his real name is Edward, but he is called Ted, and he doesn't know how that came about. I guess his parents used that nickname and it stayed with him. I never had a nickname, except at the camp I attended. I became 'Boing' because my hair was very curly and the ringlets looked like springs. I'm glad no one knows that - shhhhh! Don't tell! OK?! Pinky Swear?




If you want to participate in the chatter visit Everyday Rurality's blog and click on one or more links from others who have joined us for the chat.

New Year - What Will It Bring?

Would I want to know what the year has to offer 

if I were given a chance? 

Would knowing make things easier? 

Or more difficult? 

I'm thinking that the unexpected twists and turns our lives take

are like the spice we add to change an otherwise bland meal

into something with pizazz! 

I don't want to know. 

But.. if this year is the last I have with Dad...

I want to feel good about the time we had together.  

So...

When Dad calls three times in ten minutes,

I'll answer the phone with a smile in my voice.

If Dad needs me to come over to help him,

I'll be there.

When Dad repeats a story,

I'll listen, with interest. 

Dad is 90. He is healthy. But life takes those unexpected turns. 

I'll put on my seatbelt. I'll be as prepared as I can be for what will come. 

May this year bring health and happiness,
peace and prosperity,
 to everyone!

Chats on the Farmhouse Porch

So today I'm gonna take a break from the craziness of Christmas and relax a bit. I'm going to go chat with everyone on Everyday Rurality's front porch. Well, she says it's a bit wet for sitting on the porch, so we'll have to invade her virtual kitchen and sit around, drinking coffee and chatting.

I'm gonna take Dad along with me. He likes to get out, so maybe he'd enjoy a virtual trip! Actually, I'm thinking Dad would think it was very silly. He doesn't understand why folks would want to have online social connections and blog. This, despite the fact that he met his ex-wife on Match.com! He was 82 and she was about 72! The match turned out to be a disaster, but at the time I had to commend both of them for going out on the edge like that!

So, let's chat! Here are this week's questions and my answers:

1. Who makes the best cookies in your family?
I'm sure Dad will agree with this, but my mom used to be the best cookie baker, ever! She had several wonderful recipes. I especially liked the  rosettes she used to make a Christmas. She had a special rosette iron and would dip it in batter and then fry the cookies. Yum! Right Dad?

2. What was the most satisfying or pleasing thing about Christmas 2011?
For me, it was having a Christmas tree and decorations in my house again. When we first moved our Christmas things were left at the old house. It took over two years to sell it and get all of my things under one roof. Then, we were always heading back east for Christmas, so we just didn't bother. This year, despite our going East again, I took some time and decorated. I love it! 
So, Dad, how would you answer this? Hmmmm, I'm thinking he'd be glad that we decided not to exchange gifts and not to fuss too much about the holiday. I think he's also thrilled to have a wonderful 'girl' friend who cares about him and cares for him.



3. How many photo did you take while your family was together for Christmas? Tons? A few? What pictures?
Despite taking several cameras with us on our trip, we hardly took any photos. I did insist on a group shot, and that will be posted on my other blog in the next day or so, with a similar shot from 22 years ago! I wasn't with Dad at Christmas, but I'm betting he didn't take any pictures. Up until recently he couldn't even find his camera, and despite having an iPad and an iPhone, he forgets how to use the camera feature on them. 


4. Do you have a fireplace, wood stove, or pellet stove?
We have a gas fireplace in our new home. Years ago we had a wood burning stove and used that to heat our house. I loved it... except for the delay between getting the fire started and heat being generated! Dad doesn't have a fireplace in his current apartment, but he insisted that houses he had built have Rumford fireplaces - these are taller and shallower and throw more heat.

5. What time did you get up on Christmas morning?
Without little ones in the house we were able to wake on our own schedules. Since I was two time zones away from home, I actually slept a lot later than I usually do, and probably got up around 8 or 8:30 AM. 

If you want to participate in the chatter visit Everyday Rurality's blog and click on one or more links from others who have joined us for the chat.

See you next week! 

Everyone Can See This

It's happened again. Dad sees something on his computer screen and he thinks that everyone can see it. He seems to think the computer screen is like a TV and that people can tune to a specific channel and see what he is seeing. This morning I was screen sharing with him and I went over a series of emails that had gone back and forth between me, Dad's lawyer, Dad's financial advisor and a trust accountant. After going from email to email, showing and reading my initial query, the response from one person and the next, Dad commented, "I hate this!" I asked what he hated. He responded he hated that everyone could see his business. When I asked what he meant, he said that anyone could see it - I'm not sure whether he meant on a TV or a computer, but he felt that what he was seeing on his screen was something accessible to all people, someplace, somehow. I tried to explain it, and he sounded a bit relieved, but this time I'm not convinced that he was really satisfied with my explanation.

Let Me Write That Down

Dad has always been a note taker. Years ago he even had a pen with a light in the end of it so he could jot down notes in the middle of the night without waking my mother.

source 

Now he will write down just about everything. I think he has adopted this strategy to reinforce what he is hearing, as well as to leave a record to refer to later. Dad's strategy backfires when he can't find the notes he has made, or when he can't understand them out of context! Dad often writes his notes on the back of an envelope, or on a small scrap of paper. Sometimes he will add notes from one day to the end of another note that he wrote several weeks previously. Occasionally a note he wrote several months ago will surface and he will become confused about the content.

I bought a special notebook for Dad - an early Christmas gift. He can write the date on the top of the page and then write down his notes. When he completes a task, he can go back and cross it off.  Maybe having all of the notes in one place, in sequence, will help him keep his thoughts in order.

I found this notebook at Staples. It is similar to one I have coveted from Levenger for years, yet it is a fraction of the cost. What appeals to me is that pages can be moved and more pages can be added. One can also purchase different types of pages, which may also be helpful to Dad.

I am thinking that if Dad adopts this slight change in his note taking strategy he may feel a bit more organized. Time will tell!