Gotta Have A Job to Do

Dad is always busy. Whenever I suggest that he go to a meeting at his community, or go with me to see some interesting event in town, he tells me he has too much to do. He says he is too busy. Husband and I sometimes shake our heads in wonderment - just what does Dad have to do?

Dad takes his 'job' very seriously. He sits at his desk for hours every day. After all, this is what he did when he worked, and work is a defining characteristic of his being. He sifts through papers. And sifts through them again. He opens old emails and clicks on things that show up on his computer screen, opening documents or navigating to sites on the Internet. He pulls files out of the cabinet and reads through papers, many of which were filed over a decade ago.

When Dad is 'working' he will often call me with a concern, based on what he has found. Today he was questioning a 'discrepancy' he noted in the sale of his condominium. Dad noted that the bottom line of the sales document showed a refund of several thousand dollars. He wanted to know if he had to pay that amount. Dad didn't sell his condo; I asked Dad to tell me the date of the sales contract. He noted that it was written on 2/15/08. I often get the feeling that Dad doesn't recognize the significance of dates any longer. He seems to consider everything as current. I suggested that the document must have been generated when Dad bought the condo, four years ago. After a discussion of why there might have been a refund due, and how that was probably handled, Dad seemed to accept that this transaction was complete.

I often wish that Dad would turn the computer off and get away from his desk. I wish he would sit down and read, or watch TV, or go for a walk. But, then, I have to think that Dad is happiest when he is working.

Best Blog - Are You Kidding?!

Hello?

Is anyone out there?

Sometimes when I post something on either of my blogs I wonder if anyone actually reads what I have written.  I am pretty quiet about this blog. I don't post very often - probably not often enough. There are so many good stories about times I have with Dad. Then there are the times I am so frustrated my eyes start to go buggy and I want to rip my hair out. But, I'll save that for another post.

Imagine my surprise when I received an email from a Tracy Rose at healthline.com, saying by blog was selected by editors as one of their 25 favorite blogs about Alzheimer's disease. My first reaction was to laugh it off as some sort of junk email, or some sort of scam. Then I checked and that web site does exist... and they did pick and list 25 blogs and yes, mine was there, along with some other blogs on the subject that I enjoy reading.

They even said the nicest things about my blog! 

I was so pleased, and surprised...

Keeping a sense of humor about the good, bad, and ugly of Alzheimer’s is no easy task. Thankfully, blogs like Driving My Dad remind caregivers of the beauty that life can still hold for everyone touched by Alzheimer’s and dementias.

If you need a quick refresher, pick-me-up, or lifeline, then Driving My Dad is the place for you. Stop by for poems, upbeat reflections on life caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s, or whatever it is you need – you are sure to find it here. Drive on, dear blogger, drive on – your readers are counting on you for a steady supply of Alzheimer’s inspiration!

So... I guess I better get the car in gear, and.... drive on!

I need to share those stories. 

They may soothe someone.

They may inspire someone.

They certainly may ease my frustrations.

Thank you, Editors, I appreciate what you are doing
to provide information to readers on all health topics.

Who's On First?

Lesson learned. Talk to Dad about one thing, and one thing only. If I have two things to discuss, wait and talk to him about the second thing later!
Today we talked about his lawyer, Frank. We also talked about his new tenant, Don. By the end of the conversation we sounded like a remake of the Abbott and Costello piece, "Who's on First?" It was confusing, for both of us!

I haven't listened to this piece for years. 

It's brilliant, simply brilliant!

Important

This week Dad called me about a two-page document he had. It came from his broker and described changes in his IRA. The word, "IMPORTANT" was prominently displayed in capital letters across the top of the document. Dad was a bit concerned about the paper and asked what he needed to do. I told him that it was probably documentation that new banking regulations require brokers to send out. I asked Dad what date was on the document. He looked around and finally found the date, April 10, 2010. Then he immediately asked, again, what he should do with it. He asked if he should send it to his financial advisor. I tried to explain that the document actually came from the company where his financial advisor works, and that, since it was over two years old, he didn't need to do a thing with the paper except throw it away. Dad could not grasp that. He kept asking about sending it to this financial advisor. He couldn't, or wouldn't, understand that the information was old information, had been sent as an "FYI" and that nothing needed to be done about it. We left it with Dad putting the document in a folder for me to look at the next time I'm at his apartment.  It seems that Dad could not understand that the document was two years old, and thus the information was 'old news'. He kept getting hung up on the word, "Important" and felt he must 'do' something with the information.

My Dad is Back in Town

Dad's back from his cruise. He was gone 4 months. Wow! That's a long time.
It seemed to take him a week or two to settle back into things at home.
At first he seemed more forgetful than before he left, but that seemed to go away as he became more rested.
Although I've gone out to dinner with Dad and his girl, we didn't talk too much about the cruise. Dad has been more 'in the moment' as far as our conversation goes than recalling his adventures.
He has asked that I help him download pictures from his camera. Maybe that will open up avenues for discussion about his trip.

Look Well, Therefore, To This Day

My dad found a way to instill productivity in his children. From my earliest recollections I can hear my dad saying, "Do something constructive." and, "Finish what you start." To this day, I sometimes most often feel guilty if I am not 'doing something'! 

Dad's words echo those, a bit less eloquently or perhaps a bit more succinctly, of Kalidasa in his "Salutation to the Dawn".

I was introduced to Kalidasa's words at summer camp. Our camp director would close the morning flag raising on most days, with this powerful recommendation. For many years, the salutation meant little to me, except that it was keeping me from my breakfast. But, as I matured I began to listen to the words. I began to embrace the words. 

Look to this day

for it is life.

The very life of life.

In its brief course lie all

the verities and truths of existence;

the joy of growth,

the splendor of action,

the glory of power.

For yesterday is but a dream

And tomorrow is only a vision.

But, today well-lived

makes every yesterday 

a dream of happiness

and every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day;

Such is the salutation to the new dawn.

Kalidasa's words define my life.  I try to live each day to the maximum extent possible. I lie abed in the morning and plan my day. I outline each moment. Should there be a minute that I have not accounted for, I 'Look well, therefore, to this day' and get involved. I make sure that I am doing something constructive and that I finish everything most things I start. Such is the way I was raised!

Failing Memory

I received this in an email and felt, for me, it was just too 'spot on'. I just had to share!

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.

HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took:

The melody out of music,

The pride out of appearance,

The courtesy out of driving,

The romance out of love,

The commitment out of marriage,

The responsibility out of parenthood,

The togetherness out of the family,

The learning out of education,

The service out of patriotism,

The Golden Rule from rulers,

The nativity scene out of cities,

The civility out of behavior,

The refinement out of language,

The dedication out of employment,

The prudence out of spending,

The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.

And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!!

And, we do understand the meaning of patriotism, and remember those who have fought and died for our country.

Just look at the Seniors with tears in their eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand at attention with their hand over their hearts!

YES, I'M A SENIOR CITIZEN!

I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until 8 p.m.

I'm very good at opening childproof caps..... With a hammer.

I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.

I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.

I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.

I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I wouldn't send it back to them, but I would send it to many more too!

Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy
While we're here.