Dad's Getting Married in....

... well, not tomorrow morning, but he's gonna get hitched in January! Dad's lady friend has lived with him for more than two years. From the beginning of the relationship, Dad has wanted to get married. He often whispered to me, "Don't you think I should ask Judy to marry me?" After the disaster of his previous marriage, I would respond with a resounding, "NO!" I figured Dad would be content with things the way they were. But no, he is an old-fashioned kinda guy and in his mind men don't live with women, they marry them. In all of this, his lady friend has also been a bit reluctant to marry. So, I didn't feel badly about counseling Dad against a union.

However, he persists. 

She has relented.
I see the love they share and I can't stand in the way. 

How wonderful for Dad, at almost 92 years of age, to find someone who cares about him deeply and wants to be by his side!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

We took Dad to the Botanic Gardens the other afternoon. He seemed to enjoy the variety of flowers. We did too!

We used a wheel chair 'just in case'. Dad walked through much of the garden, pushing the wheel chair himself. When he got tired, and when we hit rough ground, or uphill treks, we took over the task of pushing.

We're looking forward to another trip in the future.

The Dog Dad Doesn't Have

Dad loves dogs. 

Specifically, Dad loves Golden Retrievers. 

Having a dog, especially a large dog in an apartment

would be a challenge for Dad. 

However, having a dog come visit is a perfect solution.

Meet Clyde. Clyde belongs to a friend of mine.

He is the biggest Golden I have known.

He is a bundle of love.

He knew exactly who's feet he should lie on!

Freaky Friday

I received a phone call from Judy, Dad's lady friend, yesterday. She was very worried about Dad. He was on the floor, trying to disentangle an extension cord because he needed to walk the dog. If she tried to divert him from the task he became agitated because the dog needed to be walked and this was the leash. The cord wound around behind a piece of furniture and snaked over other cords. Dad continued his obsessive task continually expressing concern about needing to walk the dog. Dad doesn't have a dog.
In addition, Judy commented, Dad seemed to have a sinus infection, as he was congested and his head hurt. He even held his hands over his ears to try to stop the pain. He wouldn't hold onto the phone to talk to me, wanting to hold his head instead. I talked with him on speaker phone and he commented about the electrical shocks in his head.
We decided he should visit the Doctor in his building. However, he was still in his pajamas. Apparently Dad had trouble getting his clothes on, having some issues with motor control. He also chose to put his clothes over his pajamas. The trip to the doctor brought no relief. She checked his vital signs and they seemed to be alright. She drew some blood, and later, the results proved to be normal. Dad continues to be in pain, he had trouble sleeping last night and has little appetite. He also seems to find it difficult to hold things, whether because he wants to continually hold his head, or whether it is some sort of neurological problem, I don't know.
The most difficult aspect of this is that I am out of town, and it is a weekend. My first reaction was to have Dad taken to the emergency room. Judy was, and remains, dead set against this. She had horrifying experiences with ER's with her first husband, who is now deceased. Later, when I talked with the Doctor, she indicated that an ER is not the best place for a geriatric patient experiencing cognitive problems. How sad. Her preference, if Dad's symptoms remain the same, is to wait until she can set dad up for the necessary tests as an outpatient on Monday. And so, we wait. We worry. We wish that Tylenol would alleviate Dad's discomfort.

Dad rowing the dog ashore in earlier days

But, Who Takes Care of the Sewage?

Dad lives in an independent living community.  Last night he asked me who has to take care of the sewage. I hesitated before answering, and he elaborated. He was wondering, he told he, who hooked up the hose for water and the electrical lines where he lives, and was puzzled whether he was supposed to hook up the sewage. He was worried because he knew he hadn't connected any hoses or sewer lines  I realized that Dad was either thinking about the times he traveled on a large sailboat or a motorhome. I guess it isn't that surprising, since I am on the road in our motorhome and tell him about campgrounds we are visiting. Dad was pleasantly surprised when I told him the building, and his apartment, had sewage and water pipes built into it, as well as the electrical wires. He thought that was great!

Source

The State of the Union

Dad is living with his lady friend, a gal more than 15 years his junior. When they were considering their current living arrangements I talked with his lady friend to try to determine her motivation for moving in with Dad. As he was still dealing with details of his disastrous divorce, I was hesitant for him to begin another messy situation. She seemed genuine enough and seemed to be involved in the relationship because she cared for my Dad, not for his money. She said he was like an Oreo cookie. The part on the outside was OK, but inside there was some really sweet stuff.
Recently my dad's lady friend was asked what she envisioned as her future when my dad passed on. She surprised me by saying she wanted to get a small apartment, downtown, where she could be near restaurants, museums and other cultural activities. I had figured she would want to stay in the continuing care retirement community. I began thinking that Dad may be a ball and chain, holding her back from her own dreams. So, today I took her out for lunch so we could have a frank conversation without 'you-know-who'!
What a wonderful woman! She felt that Dad was requiring more of her attention at this point in time than he had last year, but, she said she was still fine with the arrangement. She agreed to let me know when she needed more help, whether it was my taking on more responsibility, or arranging for some additional care, or whether it was that Dad needed to consider moving to an assisted living situation. She didn't feel that her life and happiness were compromised by her involvement with my dad.
After the disaster of his brief marriage, to a whiny, self-centered woman, this lady is remarkable! But, you know, I don't think Dad would have appreciated her as much had it not been for living with someone who was so totally opposite!

Checking It Twice

I don't know about you, but I rarely write checks anymore. Dad is no different. He writes a few checks for Christmas gifts, and he writes checks for his taxes. It takes Dad a while to write a check. He flips back and forth between the check and the check register, loses his place, and finally figures out where to write everything. As long as he has only one check to write, everything goes smoothly. However, he gets confused when he has to write several checks. He forgets who he has written a check to and has trouble getting each check in the correct envelope. Then, when they are in envelopes, he forgets that he has written a particular check, and will try to write another. Luckily almost all of his bills are handled through bill pay. Most are on auto pay, and the rest I take care of for Dad. When he gets a bill, he calls me and I access his account and fill in the necessary information to have the bill handled. 

I bought a "Paid" stamp for Dad. I think he'll like it. It will give him a job to do. It will also help avoid his panic when he stumbles on a bill and thinks it hasn't been paid. Dad will spend hours at his desk. He'll go through the file cabinet and look through papers he finds in there. For whatever reason, he thinks they are all current. Now, as long as he doesn't use the stamp until he has talked to me about a bill, he'll know the status.